Parents need to say to infants what they mean and mean what they say.

Topic: Why infants don’t sleep as they used to when left with babysitters & what to do about it. written by Dr. Cameron Jackson, licensed psychologist PSY14762 cameronjacks@gmail.com

I take care of a grandchild 2 mornings a week. He is 3 months old. This last week he did not sleep much as he used to do. His mother said that happened also this past week when left with the babysitter that comes the other 3 mornings.

I think the 3 month old knows mommy is gone and he is staying awake until she gets back. The child is vigilant concerning the loss of the most important object in his young life — mommy’s presence and mommy’s milk.

What might reduce this infant’s vigilance and mild anxiety? Knowing that she will return soon and that she will do what she says. Can this be taught to an infant? Certainly worth trying.

This infant and all infants need to hear a simple explanation ahead of time: Tomorrow, Mommy goes to work. Mommy comes back in 5 hours. While Mommy is gone, Grand-ma takes care of you. This is a picture of grand-ma. When gone you have a picture of me. I will do what I say. I come back soon.”

Parents need to say what they mean to infants and clearly and simply say what goes on. And then do it. The KISS principal.

Puppets are a wonderful way to teach the stories that infants need to hear. Use a simple, repetitive song to sing the story. It is not too young — in fact it is never too young — to tell infants ahead of time important things that affect their lives. Say clearly and simply, “tomorrow ma-ma goes and grand-ma comes….I come back soon….and fun things will happen while grand-ma cares for you…

Parents need to mean what they say and say what they mean in simple, clear terms talking to their infants. Tell them the important things that are happening in their young lives. And sing it as a simple song.

For example, Old MacDonald Had a Farm can be changed to “Mommy & Daddy have a House… eeeiiii eeeiiii eeeeiiii ooooo. And in that House there lives a boy…. eeeiiii….eeeiiii….eeeeiiiii…oooo. And Grand-ma comes to care for (name of child)….eeeiii…eeeiiii…eeeiiii ooooo. And Grand-ma brings fun things to do…. eeeiiii….eeeiii…eeiiii oooo.

Long before a child can look at a book he or she can hear stories sung in simple rhymes telling them the important events in their lives.

Here is an example: The child’s father wants a BOB stroller so he and mom can jog with their child. Ahead of time, They could improvise Yankee Doodle: The real tune goes like this: “Yankee Doodle went to town Riding on a pony; He stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni. Yankee Doodle fa, so, la, Yankee Doodle dandy, Yankee Doodle fa, so, la, Buttermilk and brandy.”

Instead, sing the tune to different words:
“Yankee (baby L) goes to town, A riding in his Bob-Bob. Dad sticks a flower in (name of baby) hat and calls it macaroni…..” And then Dad in fact puts a flower, or feather or whatever in Baby’s hat and off they go on their jog to town.

Done repetitively the child will connect the song with the coming ride in the stroller ahead of time. Knowing what is coming down the line can reduce anxiety about the future. This is a wonderful, easy way to teach language to infants. Use simple, repetitive rhymes sung to simple tunes. Sing the words slowly and clearly sometimes and sometimes quickly. Children need to hear the words clearly and distinctly and see the words illustrated by actions.

For just a few dollars you can get a used nursery rhyme book full of the old classics. Get the old rhymes and improvise. Teach your children your stories about the important events in your lifes. At Logos in Santa Cruz, for $4.00 I got Stories and Rhymes for Every Bedtime. It is full of all the classics.

Here is one I’m going to do next week using puppets to illustrate:

Ding Dong Bell
” Ding Dong bell, Pussy’s in the well. Who put her in? Little Tommy Green. Who pulled her out? Little Tommy Trout. What a naughty boy was that, to try and drown poor pussy cat. Who never did him any harm, and killed the mice in his Father’s barn.”

I have some small bells that I will ring. Ding, dong Bell (ring the bells). Ba-ba (bottle’s) in the Well (glass container to warm the milk) Who put it in? Ma-ma put it in. Who takes it out? Grand-ma takes it out (when nice and warm). Who gets it NOW? (name of child) gets in NOW!

This is one way that young infants hear stories ahead of events using language and song to talk about important events about to happen. Getting a warm bottle is a very important event in the life of a 3 month old. The old stories and rhymes are still useful today.

Let me know your favorite rhymes and stories that might be improvised in new ways with young infants.

written by Cameron S. Jackson, Ph.D., J.D. licensed psychologist DrCameronJackson@gmail.com

831 688-6002